http://thethoughtdiaries.com/Grief changed who I am

Something about the morning was unusual. My head was hurting, my vision was blurred, and I couldn’t think of anything, as if the moment only existed to make me realise how precious I was to the universe. An odd feeling of pleasure, mixed with the guilt of leaving behind my past ran throughout my heart. All the pain and the tears that were once a part of my life, a part of me, no longer seemed to hurt. It felt as if the disappointments and the rejections were the bitter cure to my wounded soul. And all of it, did change me. I couldn’t comprehend if the change was for better, but one thing which kept me going was the hope emerging from the darkness that couldn’t let me sleep, and the very same feeling of hope carried an entirely new life I had wished for.
I felt as if my old self was burying himself in the garden of contentment, and the entire scene seemed like a story I wish I knew I was a part of. My present was no longer heavy and the love I thought I would seek in others was now beginning to make it’s home in me. The wounds began to heal and the scars no longer felt regretful. Moreover, I felt like the five year old child who finds happiness in a small bar of chocolate just cause that is all he desired. Pain taught me to seek pleasure in the moments which are simple, peaceful and most importantly, are living in you, in your present. Tears taught me that I couldn’t be happy all the time, but this doesn’t mean I had to be negative, for the entire essence of life is hidden in perspective. I perceived the change to bring me peace, and it did. It almost felt like waking up after a very deep sleep; and that moment wherein we forget everything for an instance felt like a reminder to exist in present, and to love who I am now.

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