You won’t miss them
loudly. You will miss them in the details; you will miss them in the quiet. You
will miss them in the empty moments, the still space that fills your day when
you can’t convince yourself to stop diving into your brain. This is how you will
miss them.
You will miss them jealously. Your skin will sink when you
see that they have moved on. Instead of being happy for them despite trying,
you will grip your memories inside clenched fists. You will blame them for
moving too quickly; you will judge the person they choose. This does not make
you selfish, this does not make you bitter or crazy.
This makes you human, and
in your humanness you will breathe through empty lungs when you see their new
flame wearing the sweater you always reached for when you were cold; you will
create hurricanes within your chest when you wonder if they have laughed like
you, explored like you, loved passionately like you. You will never know. This
is why you will miss them maddeningly.
You will not miss them wholly. You will miss the highlights.
You will fail to remember all of the mismatched parts that lead you to make the
decision to move forward; that lead you to realize that your heart was better
off in softer hands. You will miss the mornings you spent curled up in their
arms, forgetting that you never truly felt like you were home. You will miss
the Springs and the Summers of their love, but you will fail to remember the
frost that often came between you, the cold chill of their Fall, the desolate
and unbearable distance of their Winter.
Above all else, please promise yourself that you will miss them with every inch of your bleeding heart, but do not miss out on life because of it. It is important for you to live through the growing pains, for experiences will slowly pour into you knowledge, your soul will grow wiser. You will see how you painted over your ashy memories with shades of rose and blush. You will remember the winters, and how you hated the cold. You will sweat old love out like Scarlet fever, and this – this, is how you will miss them no more.
